The Native Americans call dreaming, "the little death". So I imagine death may be the big dream.
Some deaths I've experienced of people close to me have affected me. My father's death, it goes without saying, was the most traumatic of all. My guardian and my best friend, my mother's husband, my sister's father, my niece's grandfather -- all these men dying in one instant, during a dream, hugging his pillow. After seeing him and spending hours with my mother and sister before the coroner came, I drove home--And I always remember it as driving in the rain, but in reality it was my eyes that were raining.
I had a friend in first grade, her name was Jane. She died that year from Leukemia. It was so strange having her gone.
The death of John Lennon was a big blow to me, and I cried on and off for days because of it. Surely that was the death of us all.
I do not welcome death, and having my loved ones mourn my death. But I imagine it is a journey to someplace better; my own piece of heaven, like that book, what's the name "5 people in heaven" I think.
I would like to think I'd be reunited with my dad when it happens.
the Rovaniemi cemetary, Lapland, Finland