Friday, January 29, 2016

What's been happening

As I mentioned in my last update, I was unable to get my pain meds because of the exhoritant cost due to a large deductible.  The crushing pain came back with a vengence, and I suffered for five days before calling an ambulance to take me to the emergency room.
I sat in the ER for four arduous hours before being seen.  I cried several times during the wait, just unable to hold back the tears.
The doctor gave me two percocets, that being the cheapest pain med around, and a prescription for ten more.
They let me lay down on a gurney for about fifteen minutes, and then the doctor came along with discharge papers.
I was barely out of pain by the time I left the hospital.
Walked (so slowly) a couple of blocks to find an ATM, as I had no money on me, and needed to take a car service home.

The car dropped me off at my pharmacy, where I had the script filled, and then went home to go to bed.
Days later, I went to see my pain management doctor, and asked him to please prescribe me some percocet for the pain.  He was very nasty, and literally yelled at me, saying he doesn't prescribe those kinds of narcotic pain killers.
Now, here I was, in pain again, as the ER prescription had run out.

The doctor said I'd have to see somebody else if I wanted the percocet, and he referred me to another pain management doctor a few blocks away.
This new doctor wanted to give me only two pills a day, which was a far cry from what I needed for round the clock relief.  After some pleading, he agreed to prescribe three a day.

I know there is great controversy surrounding addiction to pain medications, and doctors are afraid of prescribing drugs like percocet.  This sure doesn't help you when you are suffering from debilitating pain.
When I went to get my prescription filled, I thought it would cost maybe twenty or thirty dollars, percocet being a fairly cheap drug.  Because of my huge deductible, the cost was $72.  I couldn't believe it.  Luckily, my pharmacy lets me charge things till the next month,which is what I had to do.
The three pills a day weren't enough to keep me out of pain till the next dose was due, so I spent at least an hour or two back in pain before I could take another pill.
Once the pain comes back it is harder to get relief again.  It's very frustrating.

The side effects from this drug are hard to deal with.  Lots of sleep is necessary because it knocks you out.  Then there is the horror of your bowels seizing up, which happened to me for the first eleven days.  Stool softeners and laxatives caused massive stomach cramping, so it seemed if I didn't have one type of pain, I had another.
Give me a break already!!
I haven't been out of the house at all, in I don't know how long.  We had a massive snow storm, about 27 inches, but unfortunately I didn't even go out to experience it a little bit.
I need to see my plastic surgeon again, to schedule the reversal of the reconstruction, but have to wait for the beginning of the month, when I have some money to pay for transportation and co-pays.  Same old story.
Right now I am hungry, and so hoping my social security check comes in early, so I can buy some food.  If it doesn't come in today (friday), I will have to wait until monday.  Ugh.
I know this is all pretty boring to read, assuming you got this far.  Sorry about that, but I do want to keep an account of what's happening in my life since getting breast cancer in 2013.
Maybe someday in the future I will be beyond this misery, and I can look back on these passages with a healthy detachment.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Book Review: Eleanor

Jason Gurley has crafted a wonderful book which takes you through the tragedies surrounding Eleanor's life.  The main character shifts between the worlds of the ordinary and the fantastical, as she walks through doors which suddenly bring her into another dimension altogether.  This happens to her repeatedly. 
Ultimately this story show how salvation can be attained through the love of family.
It is a sweeping saga that takes us across generations.... dealing with loss and tragedy, and heartbreak.  It breaks you down, and then builds you up again.
A mysterious and magical work of fiction.

For more information, see the following links:
I received this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for posting an honest review.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Winter From My Window

This is the first true snow of the season, and it's virtually a blizzard.  We had gained over a foot since noon, much earlier than expected, and there's still another 8 hours or so to go after that. 

A state of emergency has been issued for New York City.   Buses and outside trains suspended.  Road travel disallowed except for emergency vehicles.  The governor suggested stores and Broadway shows be closed down so workers could get home before public transit suspensions went fully into effect.  

None of this affecting me, really.  I am home and comfortable, and have no need to venture.

Here are some pics I took from my bedroom window.


Thursday, January 7, 2016

personal update 2016

This is my first time here this year, so I want to wish everyone a great year, with good health and much happiness.

Things have been much the same with being in pain a good deal of the time.  I saw my plastic surgeon yesterday, and he said he could reverse the tram flap surgery in hopes this would relieve my pain.  He would also cut out a lot of the fat necrosis.

I don't know if this will actually help, and relieve me of pain, but I have to hope it will.

It's a not an overly long surgery, he said.  About two hours, and I would be in and out on the same day.  I'd have a couple of drains to deal with; not like I don't know what that's all about. Haven't set a date  yet.

Of course, this will leave me flat-chested and duly scarred.  After all I've been through.  Oh fucking well.

The insurance plan I had last year was cancelled at the end of the year, and I had to get a different one.   Lots more co-pays now for some reason, and the drug coverage sucks with a huge deductible.  I just went to get my pain medication filled, and they told me the cost was $380.  Needless to say, I can't get my medication.   It's not like the meds help a great deal, but they do something sometimes.  Now I am screwed.

So, that's all the mundane crap of my life.

I am just needing to start anew, pain free.  I can't go through another year like the last one.