Saturday, March 31, 2012

pictures of Spring

~click on pics for larger view~

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

a bad scene

This has been a hard month for me. My anxiety has been through the roof like never before; even so much as to feel like I'm having a heart attack. I even passed out the other night.

Seems I have fallen victim of a scam. I was trying to do the right thing, and it blew up in my face.

Several months ago I met a man online via Facebook whom I've been getting to know. I expressed to him my desire to get some kind of a part time job to supplement my social security disability benefits. He brought up the possibility of getting a job with his company, doing stuff like faxing and scanning, and generally clerical work that could be done from home. This sounded so great to me, as I have been out of work for several years due to my depression and anxiety, and working at home would be a godsend.

I received an employment application from the company, and quickly filled it out. Things were looking good. They wanted to establish direct deposit for paychecks, so I gave them my bank information. They said there would be a small withdrawal, and then a return of funds. Well, the withdrawal wasn't so small, and it was taken out in four increments, totally $1200 (the near total of my social security benefit for the month) before I even had time to notice it. I didn't even get to pay my rent or my utilities this month. The man I'm speaking with online claims not to know of what's happening or why, but I cannot trust him anymore either, I guess. I report this all to my bank, and they had to close the account due to it being compromised, and they are investigating the matter. I gave them my "friend's" email address, since it all started with him, and now he is no longer responding to my emails because I guess he is getting investigated, along with the company. Gave them whatever information I had on them. They say it could be months before it's resolved, if ever.

So, I have been sick all month, wondering how I'm going to survive.

There is some good news, though. A true online friend heard of my situation when I wrote about it on a forum I've frequented for a dozen years or so, and he came through for me, and sent me a thousand dollars. Have to pick it up from the post office today. This was totally unexpected, and I am incredibly thankful. There are some truly special people in the world.

This has taken a very heavy toll on me. I will have to pay my utilities which are in danger of getting shut off first, and then a partial payment for my rent. It boggles my brain how I will ever get even, but at least I'm am getting a good head start with my friend's help.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

sunset sunday

Trying to fnd sunsets I've never posted before for this sunday's sunset.  I think this is one of them.  I like the soothing yellows.

Oops, I guess it's in my header collage.  Oh well.  click on it to view a larger image.

Friday, March 9, 2012

a little ramble

I am feeling like writing something, but I don't have any subject in mind, so this will be a rambling of thoughts, no doubt.

My computer would not connect with the internet yesterday, and I had to take it in for repair. Seems the ethernet thing was burned out or something, and a couple of other things I didn't quite catch. Just glad I was able to get it fixed. I feel so lonely without that connection to the world.

There is a chance I will be able to get a job that I can do from home, entailing things that can be done via computer, plus scanning and faxing stuff. Some thing part time, but just enough so that it would add to my social security to a level where I could live as a human being. I'm not sure when/if this will come through, and I don't want to jinx it by talking too much about it, but keep a good thought for me, will you.

Needless to say, my computer breaking down yesterday put me over the top with anxiety. It is still not out of my system. Some other stuff going on, too, but I don't want to get into it.

My Nikon camera decided to start working for a while, did I tell you? Yea.. I know it will conk out again in time, as that memory card slot is definitely defective, but for now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed. Don't have much to show yet, 'cept some recent pics I posted of Logan and Mel, the day she got her hair cut.

OK, I guess I got a little of what I wanted to say out of my system.

Till next time.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

what a difference a day makes

Seems that overnight more bald spots appeared, and Melissa decided to take a big step and shave her head completely.  She's got guts!  Only someone who is so beautiful inside can be so beautiful outside, too.  She rocks this look!  Today she undergoes her 2nd round of chemo.  Power to you, Mel!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Mel and Logan

My niece Melissa's hair has been falling out badly due to the chemotherapy.  Today she decided to cut her long locks to a short short look, in preparation for the inevitible.  I think she looks stunning.
Me and my sister took Logan out to lunch while Mel was having her hair cut.

Saturday, March 3, 2012


DesidePrada (apologies to Max Shulmann/Desiderata)

Go fashionably amid the Fabco and Payless stores, and remember what peace there may be in Gucci. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all shoes. Wear your Prada's quietly and assuredly, and smile at others, even the scuffed and faux leathers, for they too have their price range. Avoid Skippy's and Earth shoes, as they are a vexation to style.

If you compare your shoes with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser shoes than your own. Enjoy your Manolo's as well as your running shoes. Keep interested in your own size, however huge; it is a real size and will not change in time.

Exercise caution with high heels, because the world is full of cracks in the pavement. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is in the loafer... many persons strive for high heels, and everywhere life is full of twisted ankles. Be a class act. Especially do not shop at K-Mart. Neither be cynical about bargains; for in the face of all designer knock-offs, the 'sale' is as perennial as the grass. Fend off the counsel of the years; get weekly pedicures, and surgery, if necessary.

Nurture strength in your arches, to shield you from sudden spur pain. But do not distress yourself with holes in your soles. Many shoes are ruined by pavement and the elements, so just buy a new pair. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with your feet. You are a woman in Valentino's, no less than the Armani's or the Chu's; you have style. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt your feet are attracting a lot of attention.

Therefore, be at peace with Fendi, whatever style you wear him in. And whatever your sandels and slingbacks in the varied confusion of fashion, keep Prada's in your closet. With all the mass market repros, it is still a beautiful world when you buy designer shoes. Be stylish.

Strive to be fashionable!

come saturday morning

Supposed to be a day filled with thunderstorms. I could use some of that energy. Maybe that is March coming in like a lion (though the first two days were mild, if damp), so it will go out like a lamb? Or do the first days dictate that saying, and it will indeed go out like a lion?

Such are my thoughts on this early saturday morning. My cup of coffee near empty, and needing a refill.

My good camera is going through a flukey stage where suddenly it is working again. I know that memory card slot is iffy, and it will conk out again at the worse possible time, but for now it is working. Hope to see Logan tomorrow and catch a few shots. I've taken a few shots, nothing of import, but have yet to download them to the computer... I just don't want to be messing with the camera so much, for fear of a relapse, so I'll wait until I have more shots on the card.

If it could just hold out until I could get it fixed for real, that would be nice, but I don't have any great expectations.

The day is coming up very grey, and the damp seeps into the bones. Woke too early with achey neck and back. Need a new mattress badly. I won't even tell you how old it is, it's such an embarassment.

I re-read my book again, and it needs a lot of touch-ups in terms of the timeline (sometimes spring follows summer, and such things!), and scenes need to be rearranged. I was very eager to get to the end of it, so that sorts of slams you in the face too soon, I think, and more writing needs to be done there. The ending may well be different than the one I've written. That is where most of the rewriting needs to be done, I think. It'll be a lot of work, I think, and I don't know when I'll be up for it. I'll be working with the hard copy.

A second cup of coffee made.

Wow, the fog outside is great, can barely see the next block down. I expect I should here fog horns soon, and am surprised I haven't already.

Just took a shot with the p&s canon, so I could download it quick and show you... not much to see really, but here it is.

Hope you all have a great saturday. See you in blogland.

Friday, March 2, 2012


Just some pics taken around my friend, evie's place.  Taken with her new Canon Powershot SX150.

(one of evie's brilliant batiks in the frame)