Tuesday, September 13, 2016

dream disturbance

I get so troubled by dreams when I try to sleep, that I am often awakened before I've even had an hour of shut-eye.  This sucks, as I often put off sleep as long as I can, and I will sit here, falling out, before I allow myself to submit to the desire.

Tonight it was my mother being overly worried about the amount of time I spend on the computer, and complaining that my phone line is tied up during all that time.  I woke up, and sat in bed, still continuing a conversation with her in my head, explaining why I spend so much time here, until it occurs to me that she is dead, and I haven't had a "dial-up" connection tying up the phone line in oh so many years.

And, of course, I go to my computer.

I think it is the oral chemo med that causes so much dream disturbance.  I take it for 21 days, then have a 7 day break before beginning the cycle again, and yesterday was my restart date. This drug really runs the gamut of side effects.  They don't seem to subside either, as side effects often do after a couple of weeks or so.  Been taking it about 4 months now.

I think there's a good chance I may have broken a rib recently.  Pathological breaks will occur with bone metastasis without actually sustaining any type of injury.  My bone mets specifically affects my spine and ribs.  Right sided rib pain has increased significantly, and movement and deep breaths exacerbates it.  The area is tender to the touch.  Quite similar to when I actually broke a rib after fainting and falling flat on my back onto the hardwood floor.  I see my oncologist in a couple of days, and I suppose she will send me for x-rays.

Got a call from a lawyer's office today about owing over $900 to Maimonides hospital for various doctor's visits dating back as far as 2010 (??).  Had a call some months ago about owing some $2300 for hospital stays and procedures.  They always want to set up a payment plan, and I always just say no, can't do it.  Can't get blood from a rock, folks... sorry 'bout that.

Guess I'll take another shot at sleeping.