There is the idea of creating your own destiny, which allows for free will to come into play -- which isn't in the strict sense, destiny. I don't think of destiny as having a hold on every event in your life, but I believe it weaves its way in from time to time. Like with friends and family -- I think these meetings were predetermined, destined. This is what's meant by soul mates -- not one particular person, but many people who are related to you on a soul level.
I suppose you have to believe in a higher power to believe in destiny.
Was it my fate to end up in the situation I'm in? Did I create it myself? More likely.