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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

the days of May

When May comes, so does my birthday (on the 6th), and that is always an issue to be dealt with to some degree. Then comes my father's birthday on the 16th, and the reminder of his smile, and how he added a whole new feeling to a room when he walked in, and how much I will always miss him. The day after that I am reminded of the trip I made to Finland six years ago, in search of love. And though I have come to terms with it, it looms large in my collection of life's events.


The problem with my birthday is that I often get depressed when it's coming... it usually starts about two weeks before, but this year I don't feel so down. I don't want to get depressed about it. It's silly. It's not because I'm getting older, because I had these feelings when I was in my twenties and thirties, even. Perhaps I have felt that too many years pass by without consequence, but I'd rather look ahead than cry over spilled milk.

So, I am not so much feeling the depressing feeling this year, and I remember last year I wasn't too close to it either (if I remember right). In looking back in my blog, it didn't seem like any depression was going on, but of course I could've been closed mouth about it. Maybe I am outgrowing it; afterall, I'm going to be 58 years old. Oh, Lord, how did that happen. Ha.

I will just take each day as it comes, and try to live in it fully.

6 comments:

  1. Well I wish you a happy early birthday Barbara & hope you take time for you on your special day!

    I've always thought birthdays are a strange thing to celebrate... it should be my mother's special day, not mine, she's the one that birthed me! I didn't do anything special to get here ;-)

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  2. I turned 59 in March. All we can do is savor each day that is given to us. I keep a daily gratitude journal and no matter how small, each day has something I am thankful for. It reminds me to enjoy those little things. Happy birthday Barbara and many more.

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  3. Happy birthday and glad you are not depressed!

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  4. At 63, I can hardly look back at 58 with nostalgia (the way I can fifty, forty, or thirty), but if you and I live long enough, 58 will surely look pretty good.

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  5. You a just a 'babe' ~ hope your are well ~ not always easy to lose those we love ~ 'they are watching over you' ~ be well be happy ~ thanks, namaste, ^_^ ~

    Thanks for coming by ~ and if Coney island isn't too far ~ go get some of that 'pink popcorn' ~ just for fun!

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  6. Have a wonderful day on your birthday, Barbara! I am happy to see you will be in good spirits for the day and everyday.

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