and so on

So, its been a month since getting my tram-flap reversal surgery.  I am still experiencing pain, though it has been somewhat different in nature.  Have had expected post-operative pain.  The old pain, which I've had for the past one+ year, has dissipated a bit, but not entirely.  I am still taking pain medication, and often find myself counting the hours to when I can take another dose.  That's not too good, I guess.
I had the drains in for a couple of weeks before they were pulled, but then ended up having fluid build up under my skin, and had to have it aspirated with a needle.  Just this past wednesday, my plastic surgeon actually reinserted a drain on the right side, because the build up was too great.  Also, he wrapped my chest tightly with ace bandages to inhibit the fluids from having anywhere to build up.  This has been super uncomfortable for me, and even makes it hard to breathe.  I'm hating it.
Much of the time I am just feeling worn out and weak.  When I am outside walking, I thank God there are benches in the neighborhood where I can sit and rest, because sometimes it feels like I will just pass out if I don't.
I do think this surgery has improved my situation some, even though I've been feeling like crap anyway.  Not sure that makes any sense, but it's how I feel.
My breathing has been especially poor.  I find myself using the rescue inhaler several times throughout the day, most especially just after sleeping, when I think the congestion really builds up in my lungs.
So, it hasn't really been the best of times, but I still hold out some hope.
I'm not sure when or if I will ever feel fully well again.  Its been so long now.
Its been two and a half years since I was first diagnosed with breast cancer.  The whole time has been filled with surgeries, treatments, and pain.  Enough already!

So many roads to recovery

Yesterday I underwent surgery to reverse the tram-flap breast reconstruction which has caused me so much pain since I had it done in January 2015.  It was ambulatory surgery lasting only two hours, but since I have diminished lung compacity, and experienced acute respiratory failure after the original reconstruction, I worried terribly that I'd wake up intubated again, and have to be admitted.  To my great relief, everything went well, and I woke with no tube, and was able to be discharged a couple of hours later.  Yay!
My sister, of course, accompanied me, waited for me, and then took me to dinner before going home.  She is a great source of strength for me, and I am so thankful.
Had I just had my double mastectomy back in October 2013, I would have have been left basically flat-chested and scarred.  As it is, I had the reconstruction AND basically the deconstruction, leaving me quite a bit more impacted.  It is only the day after the operation, so I'm hoping it will improve some once I've healed a bit, but for the most part I think I will remain fairly deformed.  Quite dented in some places, protruding in others.  Ugh.
I am in qutie a bit of new pain from being cut open again.  Extremely sore and tight.  To be expected for a while, I guess.  It will take a while before I can adequately assess the overall pain experience.
Its been a long hard road since I was first diagnosed with breast cancer two and a half years ago.  I hope this is the last of my operations, and that the pain will dissapate or at least be tolerable.  That is my primary focus.
The range of motion in my arms has lessened even more with this procedure.  After some recovery time, when I am able to do light exercising of my limbs, this may improve.
I've had good moral and emotional support from my friends and family, and am very lucky in that respect.
The visual deformity will take some time to overcome, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually.  It is, though, secondary, to the aspect of pain which has been the most debilitating during this past year or so.  I just have to be gentle to myself, and try to accept, with grace, what has transpired.
Of course I have drains in place again... two of them, and am really hoping they can be removed after a couple of weeks, and not have to remain for the six to eight weeks I had them after the first two operations. They are just an annoyance, and pretty disgusting to have to deal with.
Having lost my mom, just shortly after the reconstruction last year, has been one of the hardest things to deal with.  There is something inside of me that just so needs to share with her what I have been going through.  Of course I do "talk" to her, and trust that her and my dad are watching over me.
On another note, Spring arrives shortly, and with it we are expecting another snow storm here in New York City. Predictions are ranging from a possible  eight inches, though some readings say it may just move out to sea.  Personally, I'm hoping for the snow, as I'm not exactly ready to say good-bye to winter just yet. I'm really not that impacted by it, since I'm mostly staying home anyway.  I kind of like the cozy quiet feel of being snowed in for a little while.
So, I am on the road to recovery yet again.  Going to try my best to regain some normality to my life once and for all.

What's been happening

As I mentioned in my last update, I was unable to get my pain meds because of the exhoritant cost due to a large deductible.  The crushing pain came back with a vengence, and I suffered for five days before calling an ambulance to take me to the emergency room.
I sat in the ER for four arduous hours before being seen.  I cried several times during the wait, just unable to hold back the tears.
The doctor gave me two percocets, that being the cheapest pain med around, and a prescription for ten more.
They let me lay down on a gurney for about fifteen minutes, and then the doctor came along with discharge papers.
I was barely out of pain by the time I left the hospital.
Walked (so slowly) a couple of blocks to find an ATM, as I had no money on me, and needed to take a car service home.
The car dropped me off at my pharmacy, where I had the script filled, and then went home to go to bed.
Days later, I went to see my pain management doctor, and asked him to please prescribe me some percocet for the pain.  He was very nasty, and literally yelled at me, saying he doesn't prescribe those kinds of narcotic pain killers.
Now, here I was, in pain again, as the ER prescription had run out.
The doctor said I'd have to see somebody else if I wanted the percocet, and he referred me to another pain management doctor a few blocks away.
This new doctor wanted to give me only two pills a day, which was a far cry from what I needed for round the clock relief.  After some pleading, he agreed to prescribe three a day.
I know there is great controversy surrounding addiction to pain medications, and doctors are afraid of prescribing drugs like percocet.  This sure doesn't help you when you are suffering from debilitating pain.
When I went to get my prescription filled, I thought it would cost maybe twenty or thirty dollars, percocet being a fairly cheap drug.  Because of my huge deductible, the cost was $72.  I couldn't believe it.  Luckily, my pharmacy lets me charge things till the next month,which is what I had to do.
The three pills a day weren't enough to keep me out of pain till the next dose was due, so I spent at least an hour or two back in pain before I could take another pill.
Once the pain comes back it is harder to get relief again.  It's very frustrating.
The side effects from this drug are hard to deal with.  Lots of sleep is necessary because it knocks you out.  Then there is the horror of your bowels seizing up, which happened to me for the first eleven days.  Stool softeners and laxatives caused massive stomach cramping, so it seemed if I didn't have one type of pain, I had another.
Give me a break already!!
I haven't been out of the house at all, in I don't know how long.  We had a massive snow storm, about 27 inches, but unfortunately I didn't even go out to experience it a little bit.
I need to see my plastic surgeon again, to schedule the reversal of the reconstruction, but have to wait for the beginning of the month, when I have some money to pay for transportation and co-pays.  Same old story.
Right now I am hungry, and so hoping my social security check comes in early, so I can buy some food.  If it doesn't come in today (friday), I will have to wait until monday.  Ugh.
I know this is all pretty boring to read, assuming you got this far.  Sorry about that, but I do want to keep an account of what's happening in my life since getting breast cancer in 2013.
Maybe someday in the future I will be beyond this misery, and I can look back on these passages with a healthy detachment.

personal update 2016

This is my first time here this year, so I want to wish everyone a great year, with good health and much happiness.

Things have been much the same with being in pain a good deal of the time.  I saw my plastic surgeon yesterday, and he said he could reverse the tram flap surgery in hopes this would relieve my pain.  He would also cut out a lot of the fat necrosis.

I don't know if this will actually help, and relieve me of pain, but I have to hope it will.

It's a not an overly long surgery, he said.  About two hours, and I would be in and out on the same day.  I'd have a couple of drains to deal with; not like I don't know what that's all about. Haven't set a date  yet.

Of course, this will leave me flat-chested and duly scarred.  After all I've been through.  Oh fucking well.

The insurance plan I had last year was cancelled at the end of the year, and I had to get a different one.   Lots more co-pays now for some reason, and the drug coverage sucks with a huge deductible.  I just went to get my pain medication filled, and they told me the cost was $380.  Needless to say, I can't get my medication.   It's not like the meds help a great deal, but they do something sometimes.  Now I am screwed.

So, that's all the mundane crap of my life.

I am just needing to start anew, pain free.  I can't go through another year like the last one.

It's that time again

Past midnight now, and so it is October 1st.  I am fully aware that it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Of course, I have been aware of breast cancer each day of my life for the past two years. It started with my diagnosis of Stage 3 breast cancer in September 2013.   It is two years ago this month (the 11th) that I had my double mastectomy, with 21 lymph nodes removed on the right (affected) side.  I chose to have my left breast removed as well, as a prophalactic measure, and because I knew that reconstruction would be more "even" if both breasts were "made" the same way.
I was aware of breast cancer throughout my many months of chemotherapy, when sleep was my only savior.  I was aware of victory over cancer when my PET scan came back clear after chemotherapy.  Still, with 19 out of 21 lymph nodes positive for cancer, I had to have 35 rounds of radiation.  I was concientious and persevered to get there every day, five days a week, rain or shine, and there was a lot of rain.
I was aware of breast cancer in the ensuing months, awaiting my reconstruction time, during which I endured the major discomfort of "expanders", rigid against my chest wall, stretching my chest skin, to accomodate the eventual placement of breasts.  It was like wearing a 3 sizes to small underwire bra, 24/7.
I was aware of breast cancer as the surgeons drew on my naked body with sharpies (or maybe something not so indelible) just moments before my 7 hour surgery for reconstruction.
Aware of breast cancer as I woke up, still intubated, in SICU, having suffered acute respiratory failure, moments after my operation.
Aware of breast cancer each and every day since that operation, as I am one of the unfortunates who is suffering pain and severe discomfort even this many months after. 
Aware of breast cancer each time I look at my right arm and hand, swollen from lymphedema.
Aware of breast cancer when I look in the mirror.
Aware of breast cancer every 8 hours when I take my cocktail of meds designed to ease some of the pain.
So, do yourself a favor.   Get a mammogram.  Examine your breasts every month.  I pray that YOUR awareness need only happen once a month, and on a yearly basis.  The odds of becoming free of cancer are amazing, especially if caught early, but I hope you never have to travel that road.

breast cancer

Wanna know about cancer?  Mine, at least?  It didn't phase me.  I was diagnosed with it, and didn't really feel any sense of shock.  Thought I was in denial for a while, but I wasn't.  It was just another passage in my life, albeit a tough one.
After my double mastectomy, I looked down at where my breasts used to be, and saw the scars, and thought, okay, there are scars... just like my mother had lots of scars.  I wasn't afraid of scars.  The plastic surgeons nurse had told me not to look in the mirror for four days.  Did she think I would pass out or something?  It was no big shock.  I knew what I was facing, and I looked it straight in the eye without flinching.
The chemotherapy was a tough time.  Wanting to sleep twenty hours a day, and popping percocets the rest of the time to ward off the bodily aches and pains.  By the time you felt well, it was time for the next chemo treatment.  Losing my hair wasn't fun, but that too was an experience.  I got a new wig and felt like a new person in it, to tell you the truth.  It was fun to play around with it.  By the time I was getting sick of it, my hair had grown in an inch or so, so that's how I go around now... with a virtual buzz cut.  I'm loving it, it's very liberating.      And then there was Radiation.  A hassle because I had to be there five days a week for seven weeks.  But the treatments were easy and fast, with the most competent team of professionals, and it wasn't until my last week that I experienced the radiation burns, which really didn't hurt, and were healed quickly with Silverdine ointment.
Now it's almost time for my reconstruction surgery.  I haven't called my plastic surgeon to set anything up, because I just need some time to decompress after the last eight months of being "a cancer patient".

I am happy to say I'm a survivor.

the quiet time

It is 3am, and I'm wide awake. A side effect of having more than my normal amount of coffee today.  I used to be fairly addicted to coffee, drinking a pot (10 cups) a day, but now I drink maybe 2 cups.  Today I drank about four.

The air is cool and fresh tonight.  So thankful for that.

I have a new camera... a Nikon D800.  It's a top of the line model, and a full frame camera, with a huge 36.something mega pixels.  You can take photos in a FX format or a DX format.  I got it with a prime 50mm lens, 1.4, which I'm happy to have... haven't had a prime lens since my old film days.
The thing is, though, that I haven't been out with the camera yet.  I'm kind of intimidated by it.  Have got to get my feet wet with it, though, and I hope soon.

I've stopped wearing my wig (as you can see in a pic of me in the last post).  Got so tired of it, and  now that it's getting warmer, I certainly don't want anything covering my head.  I am even liking my Annie Lennox look... something very liberating about it.

 Hard to believe that nine months have gone by since I was first diagnosed with cancer.  The days seemed to disappear, really.  But I remember being sooo tired most of the time during those chemo days.  Geez.

Now I just have to find out when my "exchange" surgery is... when they exchange the expanders for the breast implants, and you get  your foobs (fake boobs). That's major surgery again, and will be glad to get past that, because it will the the sort of end of a long hard road.  I got through it okay with a little help from my family and friends.

Sometimes I feel guilty staying up so late.  I don't know why.  I can almost hear my mother calling "I hope you shut that light soon", as I stay up late in my room, the light peeking out from  under the door... enough to assault her senses at such hours.

Today I should not feel guilty at all.  I kicked cancer's butt, and I deserve to do whatever I like for a while.  If I want to sleep into the afternoon tomorrow, so be it.

Oh wow, I started reading over my novel tonight, with a critical eye!  Yikes, am I ever going to have to do some serious rewriting.  There is quite a bit of "telling" in the book, when I should be showing.  That alone will be a tremendous task.  If I do that, it may even be a good novel. 

a few words for April

The PET scan I had after chemotherapy ended showed no sign of cancer... not in the lymph nodes or anything!  Now I am having radiation as an extra precaution.  I've just finished my 4th treatment and have some 30 to go.  It's everyday, monday through friday, in the middle of the afternoon, so it kind of kills the day, but stupid me, those were the hours I requested.  Taking buses, waiting in waiting rooms, and the treatment, all combine to make me kind of tired when I get home, so I nap for a couple of hours.

Haven't been out with my camera in ages, but the weather is getting nicer now, so maybe I will.  Hoping to see my sister, Melissa, and Logan this weekend.  That will warrant pictures.

short update

A little update on me.

I finished my 8 courses of chemotherapy this past monday, the 24th.  These are my down days following the infusion.  But when these aches/pains/fatigue pass this time, there is no having to go back and do it again.  I'll start feeling more myself, hopefully.
I've been holed up inside for the most part over the months. Feeling weak to walk. Cold weather.  Snow.  More snow expected in a couple of days, and it will be March.  Coming in like a lion, it seems.
In less than 3 weeks I start radiation.  5 days a week for 7 weeks.  The process itself is short, maybe 10-15 minutes, but oye, everyday.
I am worried about my extensive lymph node involvement ... 17 positive out of 22 removed is not such good odds, and is what bumped me to Stage 3 cancer.  I just hope the chemo/radiation kills the damn shit off.
By my 60th birthday, in May, I want to celebrate being cancer-free.  Get the Jack Daniels, and roll another one.

Haven't been out (or in) with the camera, so nothing of mine to show.  But here's a pic that Mel took of Logan on "picture day" for this pre-K class.

trudge uphill, slide back, trudge up again, 2014 in 10 lines

The days go by in chaotic manner

Sleeping in shifts, hours at a time,

waking hungry at 4am, sleepy at 6.

Pain rides from my chest to my toes

and everywhere in between

I wait for narcotic scripts in the mail

and face the snow to go fill them.

Relief comes, but the mind still wanders

to things it should not.

Such is the nature of the beast.

the process

Here are a few free draws I did tonight.  The first one is of me getting chemo, with a small inset in the bottom where I am getting the wbc injection the next day.  The others are when I'm getting expanded.  (Expanders are put in the chest wall.. this is a hard silicone implant that is then filled with saline (150cc at a time for me) every couple of weeks in preparation for the eventual reconstruction.)  This is to stretch the skin for the permanent implant.  Free draws are just crude drawings that take a few minutes each.

and the boys

Last time I posted some pics of Evie's female cats, and here are her two male cats, Sam (white) and Rocky.

Both were rescued from a shelter.
Sam turned out to have some issues.  He is deaf, and seems to have almost autistic tendencies, not making eye contact, etc. And jumping away when you go to pet him often.  He is also endearingly polydactyl.

Rocky was originally going to be fostered by Evie, for a month.  Well, long story short, that turned into Evie keeping him.  He was sick from a babe, about 8 weeks old.  It turned out he had a mass on his brain that was seen on MRI.  He was sent home with tons of medicines, and a prognosis that he would have 6 to 8 weeks of quality life, before he started going blind, falling over, and a host of other horrible things.  Well, we administered all that horrible medicine to him everyday... it was so sad for him, making him froth at the mouth, and he was nearly dead in our arms.  But he would eat... everyday he would eat like a champ.  There were many people praying hard for Rocky.
Well, it is over 2 years later now, and Rocky has rallied, and is such a beautiful healthy cat.  "Getting stronger, getting stronger"... you can almost hear the music every time he walks into the room.

And speaking of boys... here's my great-nephew, Logan, at Pre-K, in his pilgrim hat.  He's going to be 4 years old on Dec 9th!

Now, an  update on me.  Went for my 2nd round of chemo  yesterday.  Have to get the Neulasta injection today.  Going to keep a log of when symptoms of side-effects start, and subside, so I can get an idea of how this process flows.  Feeling fine so far, but it's usually after the shot that stuff starts... at least it did last time.

the continuing saga

My world is mainly focused on breast cancer, and getting rid of it.  There is not much else on my mind.  But, my poor mother was admitted to the hospital again, with inflammation of the bone where her bed sore is.  It's a bad situation, and I feel so damn bad for her.  I have 3 doctors days next week, including one operation (to get the port) on wednesday, so I won't be visiting much.  The following week starts my chemotherapy (on the 18th) for the next 8 weeks.  After that, it's radiation for  6-7 weeks, the radiological oncologist said, 5 friggin days a week.  Learned all the many horrible side effects of radiation the other day.  The one that bothers me the most, besides the burning peeling skin, is that it could mess up the cosmetic results of the reconstruction.  Does it ever end?  Have an ENT appointment tuesday, because something was "spotted" on the PET (they didn't tell me this at first) in my throat.  I have had GERD for many many years, and I'm hoping it's just a nodule of some sort that's benign.  I certainly don't want to hear of more cancer, that will flip me out.

a day late and a dollar short

A day late, but here are a couple of pics of Logan on Halloween, and with his mom.  She said he had a great time, and made out well, trick or treating along 3rd avenue, with a couple of buddies.  He's just getting so big!  My darling Superman, Logan.

 

Hmm, couldn't post the one of Mel and Logan... had copied it from Facebook, where Mel had posted it.  Sometimes that happens with pics copied from FB... something's up with their file codes, I guess.

 

So... it's November!  This year just went whoooooosh.  Still in recoup mode after the operation, which is not much different than the mode I'm usually in, hehe.  Truth.  Had one drain removed yesterday, but the other is still going strong, so hopefully by next week it will be out.  As part of reconstruction, I started to get "filled" in the expanders.... the nurse injected 150ccs of saline into each expander ... this stretches the skin in preparation for the implant, and is done for weeks to months, every week.  I was told there would possibly be pain, but it's not much different than the tightness that's already been there from the start.

 

No word on when I'll start chemo or radiation yet.  I guess I will know soon.  Gonna be a strange holiday season.

a few days of rambling

22/Sep/2013
So, I have been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I resist saying I "have" cancer, because I don't like the conotation of that.  It is just visiting a while, and will soon be kicked out.
Throughout all this I think of Melissa, and know that she knows every step I'm about to take.  She is helping me by taking me to see the different surgeons, and sitting in on stuff, so as to be a second set of ears.  I know she is busy in her life, and I really appreciate the time she has made for me.
It is just weird that we are going through this one after the other.  I mean, she just finished all her surgeries and treatments this past july, and then I go and get diagnosed at the end of august. 
And my poor sister and mother have to live through the worrying.
Right now I am waiting for the PET scan results, which tell if there is cancer elsewhere in the body.  That is a scary one.  I expect it to come out clear, that's all I can say.
This is all very surreal in a way.  You just go through the motions of what you have to do until the day of the operation, when it gets all too real, I would think.
At first when I saw the plastic surgeon he was telling me I'm not a great candidate for reconstruction because of my weight and my smoking.  Really bummed me out.  Despite that, he explained all the different types of recon available, and I would opt for the expanders like Melissa had, I figured.  I left that office feeling like I wouldn't be able to get the reconstruction, and I did a bit of crying.
Next, when I saw the breast surgeon, she spoke as if the recon was a given, and when scheduling my surgery (Oct 11th) she made sure the plastic surgeon was available, too.  She said if anything went wrong along the way, they could always take out the expanders and stop it.  I'm glad I will at least get a chance at it.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013 4am
The PET scan was clear.  No other cancer in my body, Thank God.
It is all coming very quickly, just a couple of weeks away, more or less.  And I know what I am in for having witnessed Melissa just having gone through it all for the past almost two years.  I am not as young and fit as she is... a perfect female specimen.... So I do not nearly imagine I will come through with such flying colors as she did, but I'll make my way as best I can.
I don't know how she did it at her age, it would've devastated me.  And I guess it did her, of course.  But man, she handled it all so well, God bless her.
I have no great qualms about losing these saggy breasts I have now.  I don't like looking at them, and they get in the way.  But I want breasts, even if they are fake ones.... that's why the reconstruction is important to me.  I think I will be able to handle it... it's just  a feeling.  My body has always healed well, I think.  I don't want to wear prothestic bras, man. 
As for the cancer, since that's what this is essentially about, I am certain it will disappear once the surgery is done.  Hopefully it's in just one of those lymph nodes, but I think they take out a bunch of them, just in case.  And one will be taken out on the other side.  They will cut all this shit out, I'm sure.   And then there's the chemo.... although no one's spoke to me yet about whether I will get chemo or radiation, or both, but I'm assuming chemo at least.  That's going to be a tough haul.  My body won't be happy.  I'll have to work on that in some way.  And my hair will fall out soon after that.  Wow, it just keeps getting better, huh? Geez.  Tree says she thinks that will affect me the most, and I'm sure it won't be pretty.  I just hope facial hair goes with it, that'll be one plus.  Of course, whatever goes will come back again.... after a time. 
What kind of photojournalistic view should I take of this?  Well, this could be the first of the journalistic part, but I need photos, and self portraits are not easy with at least a tripod.  I will be enlisting the help of Melissa and Evie to take some pics of me along the route of treatment.  I wanted to do that with Melissa... had a pic of her at her first chemo (but before the chemo started), but never followed up on it, because it felt kind of intrusive, really.  Maybe I will feel that way about my own self, too.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013 9pm
I am having a big scare about insurance and whether I will get the needed coverage for an operation with the surgeons I want.  I have to see about getting supplemental medicaid benefits for medicare.  That would involve paying a monthly spend down.  It's all a big headache to me, and I feel like I have no time.
Other things going on, too, that I don't want to write about, but that weigh heavily on my mind.
Sometimes the truth about one's life can be too vivid, and not everybody needs to see that.
I'm not sure when or if I'll post this on my blog.
Tomorrow is my primary doctor, and the plastic surgeon after that.

Friday, September 27, 2013
Well, went to the plastic surgeons office yesterday, and really just spent time with his nurse, who explained all the pre-op and post-op instructions.  Lots of information, and it had my head spinning.  She said I might wake up from surgery WITHOUT being reconstructed, and that made me cry.  It all depends on a test they do during surgery, with a machine called The Spy... which sees if there is adequate blood supply in the chest wall to proceed with reconstruction.  Because I'm a smoker, it may not be adequate, in which case they wouldn't proceed with it.  It's going to be a little devastating to wake up to bad news like that.
I have to get blood drawn at a lab, and a chest xray before I can get medical clearance, and I still don't know what's going to happen with insurance and crap like that.  There is just too much to do before surgery, and not enough time to do it, it seems.  I'm getting very tired from it all.

the results

I wish I could say these are the results of a horse race, or something fun like that.  Today I went to see the surgeon, and found out I indeed have breast cancer in my right breast.  It is staged very low, and I know I will be alright.  I take a lot of strength from my niece, Melissa, who just went through all this.  I have a large support system with my family and friends, and even here online.

I will keep you updated on my journey.

making strides

My niece, Melissa, a survivor herself, participated in the Making Strides walk for breast cancer today, along with her son, Logan, and boyfriend, JC. 

There was some beautiful fall foliage along the walk...

(photo by Melissa)

Melissa

I want to tell you about an amazing woman. My niece, Melissa. This is Logan's mom. She is 38 on February 1st. Lately she has shown her courage and strength in life to a great degree.

A couple of months ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
3 weeks ago she underwent a double mastectomy.
She has had such a good outlook upon everything, that it makes you think twice about yourself, when you get soured because things aren't "going right" for you. She has kept her head up high, and has been persevering through her daily life.  She is a winner, all the way.

On Valentine's day, she begins her chemo-regime. Keep her in your prayers and hearts, if you will.