3 am

Here it is, the 3 am hour, and I am awake. This is not an occurrence of insomnia, but a choice I make, sometimes. So much of the city is sleeping, but there are those of us who thrive on these small chunks of time.... somewhere between nightfall and daybreak, smack in the middle, where there is a space so solitary, and alive. Just as people have a "power spot" or a "happy place" that they go to physically or mentally... I have a power time, and for me it is around 3 am. It has a lot to do with the way things quiet down, and a tangible stillness that encompasses the hour. Of course, as I write this, a car whooshes by, and my skin anticipates the subway train shiver that finds its way to the 6th floor. Here it comes now... just a stop or 2 away, and I can hear it.

Those things, singled out, and not bunched with the business of the day, are suddenly lovely in their individuality.

I know this quieting down even in the country, where, at first, there seems to be quiet even in the daytime.... But that's the mistaken city sensibility. After a short while I understand the sounds of the day and night, no matter where I am.

Up in the mountains it's a cradle of quiet at this time. A highway in the distance may sing out the sweet whistle of an passing 18-wheeler catching the road before dawn. There are the stars humming above. This is something you rarely, if ever, hear in the city, no matter the time. When stars blanket above you, there is a vibration, far different from traffic and trains... far different from the thousands of electric light waves wending their way down and through Manhattan, and deep into the outer boroughs. Starlight is pure, there in the cradle of a mountain... and if you are still enough, at this hour, you can hear and feel the shimmer.

It's a good time to write about these quiet moments. ... And here comes the train.

doll collage

on scan board (click pic to view larger)

sound

Sound is so different, depending on the sun, and how it traverses the sky. The summer sun is high and loud and sharper than crystal. The days grow shorter, and the sun drifts to the south, until I can no longer see the sunset from here. Sound gets muffled, strewn beneath the dry shuffle of leaves scraping against the pavement. By winter, the world will quiet, and you'll nearly hear the snow, flying with the wind.

rest in peace

My sister's dog, Sandy, had to go to The Rainbow Bridge today.  May he rest in peace.  He was such a good dog, and a good friend.  We will always miss him, and someday we'll all cross that bridge together.  {{{{Sandy}}}}

reading the sky

late october

quiet comes with the longer night
not gentle like the snowy winter's eve
this quiet comes with longing
clear as the dark blue sky
on the first frosted night

childhood days

I had a special cigar box.... well, many special cigar boxes, but come the Fall one was always lined in cotton (the kind that comes rolled in blue tissue paper); maybe a small piece of fabric, too. Walking to school, or maybe walking the dog, I'd come upon the leaves and small rocks; an acorn, a yellow bead from someone's bracelet. Unattached to tree or boulder or the wrist of a girl... cold, and even lonely.At home I'd tuck them on a cotton bed, and cover them with cloth.

photographs and memories

Getting film is the only thing to do, and maybe why things happen the way they do.  My best camera is a film camera, a Nikon FM2... fully manual, which is the beauty of it.  It takes what I like to call "real" pictures.  I haven't had the pleasure of knowing what a digital SLR is like, and frankly, I'd be thrilled to own a Nikon DSLR.  

Anyway, the point is photographs.... and the little point & shoot can only show so much.  It's not bad for taking random shots of stuff I've making, but if I'm out and shooting, I want to make more than snapshots.  

Its been a long long time since I've lived with a camera slung over my shoulder.  It was a way of life up until maybe 15 years ago.  Not long after my father died, I started letting go of a lot things that were really important to me.  December will be 17 years.  He got to see photographs I developed and printed myself... that was cool.

But I digress...

Film... yes, gotta get some.

dog day afternoon

I was at my sister's all day, as she thought it might be time to put the dog down, and needed moral support. As it turns out, she didn't do it. It's a very hard decision and a huge responsibility to know when it is really the right time.

I have to go to my mom's place early tomorrow. There's a new aide filling in for someone, and I have to make sure she knows how to transfer my mom... if not, I'll be there the whole day.

Both today and tomorrow I had planned to finish up making some stuff for a sale out in Staten Island on thurday, but that's a bust now.

Lo and behold, the card reader came in the mail. As far as I can tell it just doesn't work. May as well have been lost in the mail after all.

So, what am I doing with this blog where I wanted to show pics of stuff I'm doing as I'm doing it? Geez. I could get some film, but I can't afford to go that route... film, developing, getting a cd made... It all ends up costing more than I can afford, and it certainly isn't a swift method either.

I'm bummed.

sky

I want to shoot October skies. The summer sky is wonderful, yes.... But oh, the sky in October!

The card reader hasn't come in the mail. I don't seem to have a lot of luck with mail deliveries. Lost? Stolen? Beats me... stuff doesn't get to me, that's all I know. I hope I'm wrong on this one, but its been a couple of weeks now.

feggedaboudit!

Spent the day at mom's and brought along clay, as if I ever get around to doing anything like that when I'm there. Turns out I forgot the egg gourds, which I needed to even start the piece.

So it goes sometimes.

first ladies

The first lady (from around 1999-2000) I made sits behind me on a piece of chapparel. Her head is as big as her boobs, and there's a raw freedom in her disproportion and fingernail markings. A swift creation, taking no more than an hour, she looks right at you, in anticipation of the Ladies who will follow.

The second lady, my Muse.

I was about to take a writing workshop with Emily Hanlon.  Things to bring included something to represent the internal critic, and something to represent the muse.  For my Muse I chose this lady (the one in background).... the same rough qualities of the first, she concentrates her gaze upon her hands and her crystal.  I sit her beside me now, so that I remember what means to have new eyes, unphased by imperfection.... indeed, embracing it, and letting in the real freedom of the creative.

the malady of the quotidian

Some days are distinctly more real, coming in like a shock of turmoil, or joy. Six of one.

But...

The creative heart rises above the quotidian veil, and transmutes it.

Even when life calls; be it grocery shopping, or despair, the creative keeps an eye out. That scene with all the congested traffic, growling beneath scattered trees, near and far, fading from green, waving in yellow, drifting dry and swift and oaken brown beneath the walkers and the wheels. Ultimately, nature incases us. Count your blessing and treat her well.

There has been tons of land digging going on around here. I don't know if it's the electric company or what, but they are constantly blocking off cross-streets and corners. Inside the barriers lines are deep holes in the ground; hard hats down there doing who knows what.

There's all kinds of stuff laying around, though.... pieces of mesh and wire, and what was it I saw today?...... a metal spring of sorts; heavy, thick. Reminded me of the steel spring I'm planning to work with at home.

There's a lot of ideas in the scattering of junk. Whether it is tangible junk of metal and glass and clay and pigments, or everyday junk, or junk in your closet junk in your mind junk in your relationship junk in ...JUNK; junk in your huge collection of rationalizations and excuses and but he said she said I did you didn't... JUNK.... Even the touchy feely infactuation surrender to love, has junk... lots of old rose colored glasses ...JUNK

And what is the creatives job? the creatives purpose? To transmute the quotidian. And in doing that, comes the transformation of your own life... made to wake you up, in gifted intervals, to what it's like to give your junk away, to let it go to a higher cause.... Make something, sing something, dance it away. For a moment you know what being alive is like, where you are centered; right exactly where you are.

I have lived a long enough life now, to have collected a heapin' load a junk, inner and outter. Enough to create new worlds. The creative creates new worlds.

This is just me, myth maker, rambling.

the dog, the moon, and mercury

When I woke up yesterday, I had good intentions for a productive day, and it certainly didn't turn out that way. The morning seemed much sweeter than the rest of the day. I had ideas rolling around in my head, and was eager to start some new projects. It's best to start immediately when you have that feeling, otherwise who knows what will drag you into inertia. For me, it was the news of my sister's old dog, Sandy, who has been doing very poorly over the past couple of weeks. Yesterday, after much testing, we found out that he has an aggressive cancer in his body, and he doesn't have much time left. He is 13, and has been the very best of companions for my sister, and vice versa. Now she has to make the decision of exactly when to put him down. She doesn't want him to live with any pain, of course, and I think the decision will have to be sooner than later. The vet gave him maybe two months to live. Poor Sandy. He lived a really good and loving life, though, and my sister can be thankful that she gave that to him. She will miss him forever, though. Its been true love from the start.

On other notes, today is the day that Mercury finally goes direct again. It has been retrograde for I don't know how long now, but it certainly hasn't been a time for new ventures or smooth communications. Things should start looking up in that aspect. Yesterday Hunter's Moon, coinciding with today's direct Mercury, may be just the shake up that is needed.

I really thought the photo card reader would arrive in the mail yesterday, but no luck on that. Today I need to go to my mom's... So it will probably come when I'm not here, and I'll come home to one of those little yellow slips on the door, telling me it's at the post office. Well, we'll see.

It's a bit chilly this morning, but it's going to warm up to the 70's today.

Both cats are here in the living room with me. Morrison, here a little over 3 weeks now, is finally starting to feel a bit at home. It's nice to see.

There's no coffee in the house (God help me!), otherwise I'd have been off making it before coming here. I'll go make a cup of tea now, though.

Hunter's Moon

I woke at 5am to the light of the moon shining in my bedroom. It's a full Hunter's moon today, and as glorious as ever, lighting the sky before dawn.

My 2 currents dolls are taking the backseat today, as my creative juices are wanting to flow in another direction. It's good to have half a dozen things going at the same time, I figure. That way, there's always something to pick up when the attention span starts waning on one particular piece.

I expect my photo card reader to arrive in the mail today. Found myself waiting for it yesterday, until I realized it was Columbus day, and there was no mail delivery.

I took a couple of pictures of the gourds that I'll be working on next, and will edit this post to include that as soon as I can get the pics up. They are miniature gourds, and some are the shape and size of a chicken egg. Let's see where they take me. I may try a bit of pyrography on them, but I'm not so versed in that, really. I'll probably cover the egg gourds completely (with clay), and use them as an armature shape for some Ladies of Abundance, which I haven't made since I first started claying 8 or 9 years ago.

The sky is lightening up now, and it looks to be a very gray overcast day, so far. I don't much mind that.

pics soon, I hope

The smart media slot on my computer doesn't work anymore, and I don't have a cable for this little camera that someone gave to me, so I've been unable to post any pics. I ordered an external slot (fits many different types of media cards), and hopefully it will arrive today. I should've started taking pics of the dolls when I first began, but I didn't know I'd be getting the piece necessary to transfer them to my computer. Oh well, I will start now.

threads and gems

The doll is progressing nicely. I don't know what her name is yet. I've painted her whole body, and wrapped her arms in embroidery floss. Today, her "hands" were incrusted with lots of semi-precious gems (little flakes of various gemstones). She is really gaining power.

I had a head sculpted for another doll, but not yet cured, the piece kept losing the head, getting dry and falling off. So, I cut the face off of that head, and I'm using it on this healing spirit doll.... I used gold pearl-ex to enhance the face. I think I want to hang things from her arms... not sure what, though. Beads? Charms of some sort?

dolls at dawn

Today I'm up early; not so unusual. I started working on my doll again. She's a wild art doll, and one of my first real diversions away from all polymer clay. I've been working on her bit by bit, trying to get an idea of who she is, and what she needs to portray her self. She appears to be a healing doll, and the one I made before her seemed to be a healing doll, as well. Both are very different. The first, smaller one, is primarily black and gold (on a filled muslin body form w/paint, beads, polymer clay face). The one I'm working on now is copper and blue and gold and pink and lavender and purple and red ... well you get the picture; a much more diverse play of color. The various beads down her center are a mix of representations... chakra, tan tien, energy centers. She is very light and very female in nature. She is fun and healing.

There is always a long way to go with any art form. A never-ending process of learning. If I'm not seeing something with new eyes each time I look at it, then I'm not seeing it at all.

There are faces, and faux stones, and sculpted bodies curing in the oven.

October Sky

There is a harmony in an October sky. Blue and white dance in rhythm at the end of the night. It is the twilight sky, lingering before the darkness of winter.