Just past 9pm on this monday. I have not slept since saturday, so I'm pretty out of it. Lots of chest/abdomen tightness pain pressure going on, and breathing is always hard. Sometimes pain sites change from day to day, or through-out the day, or go on for days.. there's no way you can predict its path. Rarely is the body still, and at peace. Sometimes, it is, for a little while at least.
Today I started the oral meds. Letrozole (Femara) and Ibrance. The constrast of costs for these two drugs is crazy. The Letrozole costs maybe a nickel apiece... crazy cheap. The Ibrance, on the other hand costs close to $100 per pill. They are meant to work together, the Ibrance specifically enhancing the qualities of the Letrozole.
Leterozole is meant for post-menapausal women with HER2-positive breast cancer. HER2-positive breast cancer is a breast cancer that tests positive for a protein called human epidermal growth factor receptor 2 (HER2), which promotes the growth of cancer cells. Ibrance is meant to be used with Letrozole. The effectiveness of Ibrance plus letrozole is based on a study that measured progression-free survival. There is an ongoing study to find out how Ibrance works in combination with letrozole over a longer period of time.
Both can have side effects similar to iV chemo infusion. Ibrance includes more serious effects, with low white blood cell count being the most common, as well as low RBC and platelet counts. Pulmonary embolisms are also common. Regular testing and treatments for these things will be on-going.
There are at least a dozen other common chemo side-effects, including "unusual" hair thinning or hair loss. Not too sure why they include the word unusual.
There are many things to watch out for, but I prefer not to "expect" the side-effects, lest they are self-fulfilling. Often, many of these effects will not even show themselves. Time will tell, and I will be on these drugs for however many years I have ahead of me.
Showing posts with label chemo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chemo. Show all posts
Monday, May 16, 2016
Sunday, June 8, 2014
breast cancer
Wanna know about cancer? Mine, at least? It didn't phase me. I was diagnosed with it, and didn't really feel any sense of shock. Thought I was in denial for a while, but I wasn't. It was just another passage in my life, albeit a tough one.
After my double mastectomy, I looked down at where my breasts used to be, and saw the scars, and thought, okay, there are scars... just like my mother had lots of scars. I wasn't afraid of scars. The plastic surgeons nurse had told me not to look in the mirror for four days. Did she think I would pass out or something? It was no big shock. I knew what I was facing, and I looked it straight in the eye without flinching.
The chemotherapy was a tough time. Wanting to sleep twenty hours a day, and popping percocets the rest of the time to ward off the bodily aches and pains. By the time you felt well, it was time for the next chemo treatment. Losing my hair wasn't fun, but that too was an experience. I got a new wig and felt like a new person in it, to tell you the truth. It was fun to play around with it. By the time I was getting sick of it, my hair had grown in an inch or so, so that's how I go around now... with a virtual buzz cut. I'm loving it, it's very liberating. And then there was Radiation. A hassle because I had to be there five days a week for seven weeks. But the treatments were easy and fast, with the most competent team of professionals, and it wasn't until my last week that I experienced the radiation burns, which really didn't hurt, and were healed quickly with Silverdine ointment.
Now it's almost time for my reconstruction surgery. I haven't called my plastic surgeon to set anything up, because I just need some time to decompress after the last eight months of being "a cancer patient".
I am happy to say I'm a survivor.
After my double mastectomy, I looked down at where my breasts used to be, and saw the scars, and thought, okay, there are scars... just like my mother had lots of scars. I wasn't afraid of scars. The plastic surgeons nurse had told me not to look in the mirror for four days. Did she think I would pass out or something? It was no big shock. I knew what I was facing, and I looked it straight in the eye without flinching.
The chemotherapy was a tough time. Wanting to sleep twenty hours a day, and popping percocets the rest of the time to ward off the bodily aches and pains. By the time you felt well, it was time for the next chemo treatment. Losing my hair wasn't fun, but that too was an experience. I got a new wig and felt like a new person in it, to tell you the truth. It was fun to play around with it. By the time I was getting sick of it, my hair had grown in an inch or so, so that's how I go around now... with a virtual buzz cut. I'm loving it, it's very liberating. And then there was Radiation. A hassle because I had to be there five days a week for seven weeks. But the treatments were easy and fast, with the most competent team of professionals, and it wasn't until my last week that I experienced the radiation burns, which really didn't hurt, and were healed quickly with Silverdine ointment.
Now it's almost time for my reconstruction surgery. I haven't called my plastic surgeon to set anything up, because I just need some time to decompress after the last eight months of being "a cancer patient".
I am happy to say I'm a survivor.
Friday, February 28, 2014
short update
A little update on me.
I finished my 8 courses of chemotherapy this past monday, the 24th. These are my down days following the infusion. But when these aches/pains/fatigue pass this time, there is no having to go back and do it again. I'll start feeling more myself, hopefully.
I've been holed up inside for the most part over the months. Feeling weak to walk. Cold weather. Snow. More snow expected in a couple of days, and it will be March. Coming in like a lion, it seems.
In less than 3 weeks I start radiation. 5 days a week for 7 weeks. The process itself is short, maybe 10-15 minutes, but oye, everyday.
I am worried about my extensive lymph node involvement ... 17 positive out of 22 removed is not such good odds, and is what bumped me to Stage 3 cancer. I just hope the chemo/radiation kills the damn shit off.
By my 60th birthday, in May, I want to celebrate being cancer-free. Get the Jack Daniels, and roll another one.
Haven't been out (or in) with the camera, so nothing of mine to show. But here's a pic that Mel took of Logan on "picture day" for this pre-K class.
I finished my 8 courses of chemotherapy this past monday, the 24th. These are my down days following the infusion. But when these aches/pains/fatigue pass this time, there is no having to go back and do it again. I'll start feeling more myself, hopefully.
I've been holed up inside for the most part over the months. Feeling weak to walk. Cold weather. Snow. More snow expected in a couple of days, and it will be March. Coming in like a lion, it seems.
In less than 3 weeks I start radiation. 5 days a week for 7 weeks. The process itself is short, maybe 10-15 minutes, but oye, everyday.
I am worried about my extensive lymph node involvement ... 17 positive out of 22 removed is not such good odds, and is what bumped me to Stage 3 cancer. I just hope the chemo/radiation kills the damn shit off.
By my 60th birthday, in May, I want to celebrate being cancer-free. Get the Jack Daniels, and roll another one.
Haven't been out (or in) with the camera, so nothing of mine to show. But here's a pic that Mel took of Logan on "picture day" for this pre-K class.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
catch up
Why do I find it infuriating when people can't spell certain words? When they use "loose" when they mean "lose".... grrrr..... Your pants are loose.... You lose a job. Advise when they mean advice. And oh the run on sentences I see on facebook. My insides churn, knowing these are mothers writing on the same FB their kids use, and there is NO example being set. Sometimes I see periods in the MIDDLE of a sentence, making no literal sense whatsoever, and I've seen this happen more than twice with two different posters.
These are the things that start irritating you when you've been holed up in the house for too long. Mostly down due to pain, which lasts from wednesday to sunday, it seems, after getting chemo/wbc injection on monday and tuesday. Then I have a free week with no chemo. It's late monday now, and I felt ok most of the day. Up late now, just can't sleep, but at least it's not due to pain.
It snowed several inches, but I haven't been out to see it. I need to get some air soon, feel like I am suffocating.
Haven't seen family since Christmas, so I am missing them. Here's a pic of me and mom taken on Christmas day, when she was still in the nursing home. She's out now, has 24 hour care, and daily dressing changes on the bedsores. A hard situation for her to be in, but at least, thank God, she is home.
My niece, Melissa, turned 40 on the first on the month. This blows me away, and seems impossible. Reminds me that I am inching towards 60 this year, and that's just outta line!
She is a beautiful healthy 40.... the new thirty, don't you know.
These are the things that start irritating you when you've been holed up in the house for too long. Mostly down due to pain, which lasts from wednesday to sunday, it seems, after getting chemo/wbc injection on monday and tuesday. Then I have a free week with no chemo. It's late monday now, and I felt ok most of the day. Up late now, just can't sleep, but at least it's not due to pain.
It snowed several inches, but I haven't been out to see it. I need to get some air soon, feel like I am suffocating.
Haven't seen family since Christmas, so I am missing them. Here's a pic of me and mom taken on Christmas day, when she was still in the nursing home. She's out now, has 24 hour care, and daily dressing changes on the bedsores. A hard situation for her to be in, but at least, thank God, she is home.
 |
| some winter trees |
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| migrating geese |
She is a beautiful healthy 40.... the new thirty, don't you know.
Saturday, December 14, 2013
the process
Here are a few free draws I did tonight. The first one is of me getting chemo, with a small inset in the bottom where I am getting the wbc injection the next day. The others are when I'm getting expanded. (Expanders are put in the chest wall.. this is a hard silicone implant that is then filled with saline (150cc at a time for me) every couple of weeks in preparation for the eventual reconstruction.) This is to stretch the skin for the permanent implant. Free draws are just crude drawings that take a few minutes each.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
and the boys
Last time I posted some pics of Evie's female cats, and here are her two male cats, Sam (white) and Rocky.
Both were rescued from a shelter.
Sam turned out to have some issues. He is deaf, and seems to have almost autistic tendencies, not making eye contact, etc. And jumping away when you go to pet him often. He is also endearingly polydactyl.
Rocky was originally going to be fostered by Evie, for a month. Well, long story short, that turned into Evie keeping him. He was sick from a babe, about 8 weeks old. It turned out he had a mass on his brain that was seen on MRI. He was sent home with tons of medicines, and a prognosis that he would have 6 to 8 weeks of quality life, before he started going blind, falling over, and a host of other horrible things. Well, we administered all that horrible medicine to him everyday... it was so sad for him, making him froth at the mouth, and he was nearly dead in our arms. But he would eat... everyday he would eat like a champ. There were many people praying hard for Rocky.
Well, it is over 2 years later now, and Rocky has rallied, and is such a beautiful healthy cat. "Getting stronger, getting stronger"... you can almost hear the music every time he walks into the room.
And speaking of boys... here's my great-nephew, Logan, at Pre-K, in his pilgrim hat. He's going to be 4 years old on Dec 9th!
Now, an update on me. Went for my 2nd round of chemo yesterday. Have to get the Neulasta injection today. Going to keep a log of when symptoms of side-effects start, and subside, so I can get an idea of how this process flows. Feeling fine so far, but it's usually after the shot that stuff starts... at least it did last time.
Both were rescued from a shelter.
Sam turned out to have some issues. He is deaf, and seems to have almost autistic tendencies, not making eye contact, etc. And jumping away when you go to pet him often. He is also endearingly polydactyl.
Rocky was originally going to be fostered by Evie, for a month. Well, long story short, that turned into Evie keeping him. He was sick from a babe, about 8 weeks old. It turned out he had a mass on his brain that was seen on MRI. He was sent home with tons of medicines, and a prognosis that he would have 6 to 8 weeks of quality life, before he started going blind, falling over, and a host of other horrible things. Well, we administered all that horrible medicine to him everyday... it was so sad for him, making him froth at the mouth, and he was nearly dead in our arms. But he would eat... everyday he would eat like a champ. There were many people praying hard for Rocky.
Well, it is over 2 years later now, and Rocky has rallied, and is such a beautiful healthy cat. "Getting stronger, getting stronger"... you can almost hear the music every time he walks into the room.
And speaking of boys... here's my great-nephew, Logan, at Pre-K, in his pilgrim hat. He's going to be 4 years old on Dec 9th!
Now, an update on me. Went for my 2nd round of chemo yesterday. Have to get the Neulasta injection today. Going to keep a log of when symptoms of side-effects start, and subside, so I can get an idea of how this process flows. Feeling fine so far, but it's usually after the shot that stuff starts... at least it did last time.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
late november
Late November. I think of my novel and how late November occurred more than once. I liked the idea of snow always being in the offing. And it snowed a lot in that book.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. My mother is in the nursing home, and will be there till the end of January, they say. She has an infection in the bone where the decubitis ulcer is located (on her sacrum). She is devastated, thinking she will have to stay there forever. We tell her that's not so, that she will go home. She's too vibrant not to.
So, that is hard. She will be there for Christmas and New Years. Such a damn long time.
Theresa is making the Thanksgiving feast, but has little room in her apt this year, so me and Evie will get delivered food from her when Melissa is on her way home. Can't wait.
Me and Ev are now just hanging out on the bed, me writing, her drawing one of her Ladies in Hats. Bordeaux Red.
There's a clock on 86th Street that plays bells now and then. I can't make out the tune, though.
Going into my second week off chemo. I feel a lot better. It starts up again monday, the 2nd. This will be right about the time I'll start losing my hair. Sort of the face of cancer, isn't it? Nothing much I can do about that.
I have a precious online friend (for some 15+years), who is a knitter, and she's making me a couple of hats. Can't wait to see them.
Bought myself a couple of bandannas already. It'll be a whole new thing covering the head like that.
Evie probably thinks I am writing something profound here, as she adds color to the page. She'll say "Well, it was sorta profound" after hearing it, knowing she's pushing it. Ha ha.
Wishing you all the happiest Thanksgiving.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. My mother is in the nursing home, and will be there till the end of January, they say. She has an infection in the bone where the decubitis ulcer is located (on her sacrum). She is devastated, thinking she will have to stay there forever. We tell her that's not so, that she will go home. She's too vibrant not to.
So, that is hard. She will be there for Christmas and New Years. Such a damn long time.
Theresa is making the Thanksgiving feast, but has little room in her apt this year, so me and Evie will get delivered food from her when Melissa is on her way home. Can't wait.
Me and Ev are now just hanging out on the bed, me writing, her drawing one of her Ladies in Hats. Bordeaux Red.
There's a clock on 86th Street that plays bells now and then. I can't make out the tune, though.
Going into my second week off chemo. I feel a lot better. It starts up again monday, the 2nd. This will be right about the time I'll start losing my hair. Sort of the face of cancer, isn't it? Nothing much I can do about that.
I have a precious online friend (for some 15+years), who is a knitter, and she's making me a couple of hats. Can't wait to see them.
Bought myself a couple of bandannas already. It'll be a whole new thing covering the head like that.
Evie probably thinks I am writing something profound here, as she adds color to the page. She'll say "Well, it was sorta profound" after hearing it, knowing she's pushing it. Ha ha.
Wishing you all the happiest Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
the continuing saga
My world is mainly focused on breast cancer, and getting rid of it. There is not much else on my mind. But, my poor mother was admitted to the hospital again, with inflammation of the bone where her bed sore is. It's a bad situation, and I feel so damn bad for her. I have 3 doctors days next week, including one operation (to get the port) on wednesday, so I won't be visiting much. The following week starts my chemotherapy (on the 18th) for the next 8 weeks. After that, it's radiation for 6-7 weeks, the radiological oncologist said, 5 friggin days a week. Learned all the many horrible side effects of radiation the other day. The one that bothers me the most, besides the burning peeling skin, is that it could mess up the cosmetic results of the reconstruction. Does it ever end? Have an ENT appointment tuesday, because something was "spotted" on the PET (they didn't tell me this at first) in my throat. I have had GERD for many many years, and I'm hoping it's just a nodule of some sort that's benign. I certainly don't want to hear of more cancer, that will flip me out.
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