upcoming project

I must be crazy. I joined up to participate in this year's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). (see my personal user badge at the right, which will give you my word count, starting in November.) I don't know what possessed me to do such a thing, and I am daunted at the scope of it. The target is to write (mind you, quantity counts over quality in this case) 50 K words during the month of November, starting (anew, no old stuff) at the stroke of midnight on November 1st. That's something like 1700 words a day! And I am starting at zero these days. Some people are doing enormous pre-nano tasks, like writing a short story every day, just to get in the groove! Hahaha... if I have that much to write, surely I'll save it for my word count when it starts.
I have an old very-unfinished novel that I won't use words for in this new venture... since there is to be no old writing.. but I think my story will come from that one. I'm not sure, I have to see what happens when I start writing this thing from scratch. Sometimes, oft times, writing takes you where you'd least expect.
I'll try to keep my blog updated with my progress, and if I'm really writing that much.

I feel a nervous excitement about this. I think that's good.
Maybe I will spend the next month trying to flesh out a plot and some main characters. A little preplanning can't hurt. What a crazily ambitious venture. I have not known myself to be too ambitious these days, but it is a familiar feeling from days gone by.
This is a project that forces one to kick the critic off one's shoulder, and just muddle through, bringing out garbage and gems alike, as long as you bring it out and get it on the page. There may be many pages of non-cohesive writing; bits and pieces, as I've been known to do. But that will be okay (I have to keep reminding myself). When the muse doesn't move me, sheer perseverance must... maybe the muse will hop on board if given half the chance.

no new brew

Past 7am and I've been up a couple of hours. Just enjoying a cup of coffee. I can hear the seagulls making their way down to the water, for breakfast. Wonder what the fishing's like today.
There's nothing much to tell, though I've been away from current blogging for a while now. Yesterday's post doesn't exactly count as "current".

I've passed out a couple of times over the past month or so, and I have to see a cardiologist, and get an echocardiogram & carotid doppler, to get a definitive diagnosis. Since my sister went through the same symptoms last year, and was diagnosed with severe aortic stenosis (and underwent some serious heart surgeries) I am admittedly scared of the outcome. Also there is the nervousness of thinking I may pass out again. Mostly I can feel it coming on, so that helps a little (in the event I'm in the street, I'll know to sit on the ground before I go crashing). This has kept me a little bit more than distracted from things like blogs and online activity.

Creativity has suffered the brunt of this distraction, as well. For the most part, next to nothing is being produced.I hope this blocked period will pass soon. I was making a Halloween witch, but her head fell off her gourd body, and her hat cracked in two while curing. Poor ugly witch. I don't have much desire to repair her, as my attention span is wickedly short these days.

remember

the river rats are in my harbor
watching the waters now
flat grey no shimmer
secret light no flare


I feel it on my back
I smell it moving in the sewers
What is there
and what is not there,
odors of a parallel stink
burdens that bend me

tears tumble over the month of days
the hard smudge on the calendar
"has there been a day you haven't cried?" I ask my sister

the river rats are in my harbor


(written one month post 9-11. The photograph, taken from the Jersey side, was from the nephew of a woman I worked with; unfortunately I don't know his name)

damn spam

I am sorry that I have to start moderating my comments, but I have received an onslaught of spam comments suddenly, and it sucks! So, forgive my moderation, but the spam is too annoying.

a good sound

old school film photography

These 35mm black and white photos were taken a long time ago when I was taking a photography class. They are film photographs, developed and printed by me in the darkroom. Many of these photos were already matted, so some light peeked through while scanning, making them look a little blurry.

Photos top to bottom:
shore road in winter
man on the sidewalk
paperweight
old Italian people
lunch break
needlecraft hands
my friend Carol
kids at a street fair
city kids in the playground
the Brookyn Army base

hawk inspired art

evie tirado, my best friend of 34 years, took that walk with me around the lake at Bear Mountain the other day. The hawks were the inspiration for the day, and they appeared to us 4 times. Here is a link to evie's inspired piece, hawks overhead. The painting has an amazing textural aspect that is hard to see in a picture, but click on the pic to see a larger version. Do pay her a visit.

the energy of one (with thanks & apologies to The Walking Man)

I resonate with the energy of one
still intact
No trail of DNA running around
no trace other than myself

I am whole
my solar plexus has no hole

and now I am a crone
my knowledge not so set in stone,
as waves of change must change
what we know
In one way or another, we
shift perspective, see with other eyes,
and live in synch with natural forces

As these years gather
so do I

bark and bone, leathers and stones,
treebeards and weathered wood

these are my tools
for creating art and ritual

My ancestors live on in my blood.
I am a final product.

witchy woman

Thanks to Dreamwriter
for giving me this fun award today!

Bear Mountain

I left the city today, and went up to Bear Mountain State Park, which is situated in the mountains rising from the west bank of the Hudson River.
The first thing I did when I got there was hug a tree. It seemed the natural thing to do, and I could feel the energy of the earth again; always there, sustaining us. It was good to watch the gentle waters of the lake. Me and my friend, evie, took a long walk around the entire lake. Hawks (one of my favorite good omens) greeted us in large numbers, swirling overhead for a good long time. It was a good day.